I’m not sure of when Tamara and I became friends via YouTube but it’s been quite some time… a few years now. She’s more than one of my writerly friends, and try as I might each time she’s come home (from Hawaii to West Virginia) I’ve wished I could make the trip to West Virginia to meet her in person. One day I will. For now though, I’d like to introduce you to my friend Tamara Woods, otherwise known as T.A. Woods or PenPaperPad on social media.
Tamara is a published poet and author. She’s a YouTube creator. She hosts writerly chats via Tweet Chat on Tuesday nights at 9PM EST by using the hashtag “writestuff.” (#writestuff) She also annually hosts #writetube every year in October to help people learn about and prepare for NaNoWriMo in November. Every year Mr. Rockstar and I look forward to Tamara’s weekly videos during #writetube–she makes them worth a second watch, and she’s one of the few people on YT that I watch that he’ll sit down and watch the video with me.
We all have things that happen to us that slow our creativity down, or that put a halt to our creativity. I fell behind in my journaling, planning, and overall creative “things,” back in July when my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 aggressive cancer (chemo wouldn’t help and surgery wasn’t an option–so it was just a matter of quality of life during the time he had left), and Mr. Rockstar was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I tried to stay creative. I tried to journal. To Plan. To finish out #onebookjuly2017 and #campnanowrimo. But my emotions, thoughts…my mental state was all over the place. Insert Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD, along with the roller coaster of emotions that come with finding out your Dad has inoperable and non-treatable stage 4 cancer, and your husband has a disease that isn’t curable either–I was a wreck!
Still, I tried to maintain some sort of routine, some sort of balance. I tried to be creative. And someday’s I managed to journal, plan, write, art… Other days–I barely seemed to function. The worse my Dad got the worse my emotional state became. My emotions were all over the place. I started grieving well before my Dad died on October 5th. But his death, and my Mom’s subsequent hospitalization (she was admitted into the very same ICU ward as my Dad–within an hour or so of his death she was up there a few rooms down from where he was (he was still in the room, they were kind enough to allow my Mom to say goodbye, for all of us to say goodbye). The doctor’s and nurses all knew who I was–first time they’d had that happen, and they were absolutely wonderful to us.
Fast forward a week, my Mom was in the hospital 8 nights and 9 days. So I was at the hospital for approximately 10 days, because I’d been there the night before when my Dad was helicoptered from their local hospital to the one in Charleston to ICU. By the time my Mom was released I’d already taken care of my Dad’s cremation, and a lot of paperwork for things like insurance, etc. I was on the ball in regards to taking care of my Mom. I was not, however, doing very well in the taking time to grieve for my Dad, taking care of myself (not really), much less housework, planning, journaling, filming videos for Patreon or YouTube, etc. I did manage to do a few loads of laundry somewhere in there so I had some clean clothes to wear when I went back to the hospital (my husband convinced me to go home with him to take a shower and get some sleep–I hadn’t slept but about 3 hours in about 3 days). (I’m sure I was in definite need of a shower by then.) Continue reading
It’s been a while… now I hear that song playing in my head… “It’s been a while…”
I’ve been busy spending time with family, busy creating content for Patreon, for YT, rearranging my creative room, revamping how I film videos and my journals–how I have them set up, as well as thinking…
Damn that thinking about things… but it was necessary and much needed. Between my dad having cancer (and dying… it’s now a matter of time and the quality of life while he’s still here), and Mr. Rockstar being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, my world was turned upside down. Mr. Viktor (my 5 year old grandson) started kindergarten. I closed one FB group and changed another to fit what I’d imagine all along–it was a progression… A progression of things that made me challenge myself, change things, and that changed my perspective.
In October my account with Blue Host has to be renewed… the notification came in my email this week… and I thought “Do I want to keep my website? Keep my blog? Do I want to really devote the time, effort, and money into something that has been hit or miss the past year?…” And the answer was yes. YES? Yes! It’s time to get back to me. To the things that bring me joy. To the things that I love and that I enjoy. To doing the things that really matter. And writing, reading, art, blogging, vlogging (well, I’m not a really big vlogger but I do enjoy making videos that inspire and motivate others, videos that are a sharing of thoughts, ideas, how to’s, and what I’ve learned so that I might be able to help someone else). I can do all of that within the space of this website. Share my thoughts, ideas, my videos, my pictures, my creativity, my life (to an extent) right here.
Truth is, I’ve missed blogging, but I kept putting it off. I evaded, avoided, procrastinated. Why? I’m still not quite sure, except that somewhere deep inside myself I was hesitant to put all of this down in writing and then share it… I was anxious, but now I’m past the point of being nervous about it and instead I’m excited about it.
Excited about the changes. So excited that I’ve finally created a YT channel trailer video:
And I’m finally sketching daily thanks to #sketchtember, and prepping for #NaNoWriMo and calling it #preptember, and I’m still on Patreon, still journaling and reading, and drinking coffee and watching mind candy TV movies and shows when I need to relax and unwind (or I go for a walk or both).
I’ll be posting more here. It’s time for to get serious about coordinating my blog posts with my YT videos.